Анекдоты на иностранных языках

alpolo · **Posted:** Thu Sep 10, 2009 5:03 pm

чистил компутер, нашел старые файлы, тут пример анекдота времен Буша (перевод не выйдет ибо игра слов):
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

Lada · **Joined:** Wed Sep 05, 2007 3:16 pm **Posts:** 2276

Ученикам одной начальной школы в Британии дали листик с началом известных пословиц и поговорок и предложили придумать конец. Типа, что посеешь... **надо написать** то и пожнешь.

Вот что написали цветы жизни:

* Don’t bite the hand that………………..looks dirty.
* Better to be safe than…………….punch a grade 7 boy.
* If you lie down with dogs, you’ll…….stink in the morning.
* You can lead a horse to water but………..how?
* A miss is as good as a………………….Mr.
* The pen is mightier than the…………….pigs.
* An idle mind is…………………the best way to relax.
* Where there’s smoke there’s……………..pollution.
* Happy the bride who……………gets all the presents.
* A penny saved is……………………….not much.
* Two’s company, three’s…………………the Musketeers.
* Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and……….you have to blow your nose.
* Children should be seen and not………….smacked or grounded.
* When the blind leadeth the blind……..get out of the way.
* Better late than……………………….pregnant

marine · **Joined:** Sat Sep 08, 2007 11:13 am **Posts:** 4618

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZ3lw-eNrFk
(English)

Alex · **Posted:** Wed Oct 14, 2009 7:50 am

http://mailman-il.livejournal.com/317975.html

Quote:

Русско-английский словарь по деловой переписке

))
Господи, это опять вы.... - Thank you very much for your email.

Нам эта ваша сделка сто лет не нужна, но ресторанчик вы выбрали
неплохой...- This meeting could be an opportunity for our two
institutions to investigate if there are some interest on this
business activity.

Если до завтра не предоставите документы, пеняйте на себя. Тут вам не
детский сад.- We will do our best to proceed with your request however
for the best result the documents should reach us not later than
tomorrow.

Вы читать умеете? - You can find this information in our Terms and
Conditions.

Сколько можно напоминать!- This is our kind reminder

Мы лучше сделаем это сами.- Thank you for your kind assistance.

Я уже сто раз вам это присылал. - Kindly find attached.

Ага, сейчас все брошу и побегу разбираться. - I'll look into it and
revert soonest.

Да поймите же вы наконец - Please kindly review the matter again.

Надеюсь, что теперь вы перестанете надоедать своими вопросами - I hope
this helps, otherwise please do not hesitate to contact us.

Какой же вы зануда... - Thank you for your patience

Ой-ой, напугал! - We regret to know that you are not satisfied with
our services.

Ну и пожалуйста. Не очень-то и хотелось. - We look forward to hearing from
you.

Хотя бы в пятницу отстаньте уже. - good to hear from you and have a nice
weekend

Услуги будут оплачены. Может быть. - Thanks a lot in advance

Да идите вы знаете куда...- We consider the matter settled and close our
files.

Ха-ха (три раза) - With best regards

jourfixe · **Joined:** Fri Sep 07, 2007 11:39 am **Posts:** 7000

Бразильская реклама Тойоты (с переводом на английский)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1naX2ZjX ... r_embedded

Feldkurat Otto · **Posted:** Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:49 am

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Jaden, the 9 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.
Jaden clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, 'An, ID Ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again.'
Jaden grinned. 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?''
No,' I replied.
'Write it down,' he said, 'and I think you'll figure it out.'

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T
I used to like that little asshole.

хмельник · **Posted:** Thu Dec 03, 2009 12:25 am

Москва...night...по улице make their way два медведя.
Один teach второго:
Can лучше выбирать с flasher, там мясо fatter...)

Feldkurat Otto · **Posted:** Fri Dec 04, 2009 9:22 am

For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin
his reputation or his
marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to
secretly have the child.
If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child
support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write
'Spaghetti' on the back.
He would then arrange for the Child support payment to begin.

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
'Honey,' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today. 'Oh, just
give it to me and I'll explain
it later,' he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the
card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written:

'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
One with meatballs, two without.

Send extra sauce.

хмельник · **Posted:** Fri Dec 04, 2009 10:22 am

Feldkurat Otto wrote:

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
'Honey,' she said, 'you received a very strange post card today. 'Oh, just
give it to me and I'll explain
it later,' he said. The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the
card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written:

'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.
One with meatballs, two without.

Send extra sauce.

Похоже, она его развела, нет? :think:

не он первый, не он последний...

хмельник · **Posted:** Mon Dec 07, 2009 1:02 am

OUTSIDE стоит мужик, SPIN за ухо GUY и пpиговаpивает:
Я тебе SHOW как FUCK мою дочь, я тебе SHOW... мля, SHOW...
Я и сам CAN...

JOURFIXE

Анекдоты на иностранных языках

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